february 19 2013

today we went to get zaden's two month vaccines. he did such a great job but i ended up crying like just as much as he did.. well not really but it was so sad. today we are going to spend the remainder of the day relaxing. 

i feel as though my depression is slowly but surely getting better, the talk on hope that the youth speaker in our ward gave this sunday really gave me faith to push through the hard times. daryl has been really supporting and loving, he is the only person that i've told about my ppd. i broke down a couple of weeks ago and told tiana but i don't think she fully understands how i'm feeling. i started my medicine and i can't really feel a difference yet except i've been getting really bad head aches and not sleeping well during the night. 

i've been able to make it to the gym and least twice a week which has made me feel better about my postpartum body. i need to work on being more confident and loving myself. i might go to the gym later today or i might stay home and do some house work once daryl gets home.. we will see how i'm feeling. i would also really like to take my measurements so that even if the scale isn't going down at the gym that there's still hope that i'm losing inches and just gaining muscle.

on the bright side, zaden continues to make me so incredibly happy. i love being his mama and being the only person that can feed and attend to his every need right now. i love his little smiles and the conversations we have during the day. he is so bright and will be talking and walking in no time. i couldn't ask for a better little boy, he is the biggest blessing during these hard times.

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